Currently Listening Final Straw By Snow Patrol see related

well its been a long ass time since i've updated but i think we'll make the best.  so i think i'll ask the classic "so alex, how's life?"  well i guess right now i'm sorta at this impass.  like right now my life doesn't suck by any means in fact i think i've got a pretty good life.  its just that i'm not succeeding in life.  it sucks, cause i know what i need to do and i try and attempt it but i always end up failing.  right now i feel like i can only flail about in a comical yet sad way.  i know i should just hunker down and ride out the storm (if thats what this is), but honestly i'm sick of sucking it up.  i'm sick of being let down, both from other people and from myself.  its so frustrating cause i'm such a loving and happy person.  its hard for me to deal with shit in my life.  all i want to do is just make my parents proud, and do the best i can.  what sucks is i know i can do a lot better...its just i don't have enough motivation to do that for myself.  i always tell myself that tommorow i'll sit down and figure out everything.  i'll figure out what i need to do and then i'll do it.  yet when tommorow comes, i put it off again and again until i never end up doing it.  i think i need a vacation for just myself.  i think i need to take a trip where i just leave for a small period of time and just think about life.  man, how nice would that be...just go off by yourself for a weekend.  personally i think we all need a little me time.  i don't think enough of us spend enough time just for ourselves.  its like in this day and age everyone is so focused on what everyone else is doing that they never stop and look at themselves.  you always hear about people just waking up one day and looking in the mirrior and it changes their entire life around.  i think i might have a little idea of how that might be. i really need some me time...or an easy button...

Currently Listening Music From The O.C. Mix 4 By Various Artists Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap see related

i always love the moments in your life that you wish you could hold onto forever.  for some reason there have been a lot of them in my life lately.  moments where i wish i could just spend the rest of eternity not moving but merely injoying the serenity that is that moment in time.  for example, on saturday i had a playoff game in soccer which is usually an enjoyable experience due to the fact that it is in fact, soccer.  but what was awsome about that game was one moment standing at exactly the ceneter of the field.  as the ball was being played away from me i took a second to look up at the sky which was incredible.  i don't even know where to begin to describe it.  i'm sure we've all had these moments where the sky is unspeacably amazing, well this was one of those times.  it seemed every shade of red, orange, and yellow were clearly desplayed before my delight, while clouds randomly appeared within this amazement of color.  there's always something about a sunset...but as i stood there a slight cool breeze rushed across my face and down my back giving me a slight shiver, and a memory of playing highschool soccer ran through my head.  i was reminded of an almost identicle moment where i was standing on our feild as my teamates goofed off with what seemed at the time, not a care in the world.  i remember it was a friday and feeling that wonderfulness that only a friday can bring during a school year.  it felt about the same temperature, warm but cool.  i remember not wanting to leave that moment either.  i remember the awsome lob shot taken from mid field into the goal.  i remember the wonderful sky, and i remember the happy smile on my face.  and as this high school memory rushed through my head i couldn't help but think about all the fun times in my life.  i suppose it wasn't so much thinking as it was more of a flash.  yet this flash seemed to warm me up, take away the cool shiver given by the breeze.  and so i stood, in the middle of the field, in the middle of the sky, in the of the best painting i have ever seen in my life.  it feels weird to say this as i'm only 18 (almost 19) but i felt young again.  that feeling of complete invincibility.  the feeling that knows that cares and worries are only for adults.  it was incredible.  soon the ball began to work itself back over to me and i knew i would have to break this trance of serenity, this trance of peace.  while i was disapointed to leave it i was not sad.  i knew i would have to fall back to life.  i knew i would bring back all the feelings, joys, and pains that i live with, and leave behind this wonderful moment.  i also knew that i would never forget this brief time of complete happiness.  i don't think one often forgets the things that makes them truly happy.  the things that will always bring them joy.  i've often had a hard time with change.  i always try and believe that people don't change, that everyone stays the same in my little world.  but it seems that as of late i'm begining to understand that people do change.  friends, family, and significant others will live their own lives.  they can become completely different people.  for me this is scarry.  i like people the way they are.  i don't want them to be different.  yet, i think i'm finally understanding, that whatever the "glory days" in your life may be, they will eventually fade to the past.  while obviously you can never live them again you don't have to forget them.  and i think its the moments, like the one i experienced out on the soccer field on saturday, that bring back those beautifully precious memories.  for one single moment in time you live them again.  and while they disapear as quickly as they come they reunite in you a happiness that was once there.  they bring back that one moment you felt happy, indestructible.  at least for me that's what happened.  that one moment at center field i felt beautiful.  explosions in the sky has a song called the magic hour.  i don't think that the moment i felt could be described in any other way.  it was in a sense, my magic hour.  an hour condensed into 10 seconds.  10 seconds of total happiness.  happiness, that by golly rocked my fucking socks off.  sometimes you really love life, i think for me this is one of those times.

Currently Listening Toot Toot By Wiggles *giggle* toot toot *giggle* see related

Let's talk about something i hate:  The Wiggles. (shown below)

(from left to right)  Jeff Fatt, Anthony Field, Greg Page, and Murray Cook.

The Wiggles are a group of guys, from australia, who put out lots of kids books, toys, tv shows, and movies. 

now that we've gotten past the information part lets talk about why alex wants to beat down each one of these guys with a bongo bat until he bleeds rainbows (rember bongo bats?  they were big and clear with a tint of green and went BOONNGGG when you hit a ball and then the ball traveled about 3,000 miles and was never seen again and then i cried and didn't have any friends)

1.  They're from Australia, or England's Canada if you will.  the only good things to come out of australia are kangaroos, foster's, and their olympic swim team...and we beat they're olympic swim team...several times...

2.  They're making our already dumb american children dumber.  let me explain.  As many of you already know, i work at the insanity that is Toys 'R Us.  Well one day i was doing my usual evasive maneuvers avoiding customers when by a stroke of bad luck i ran into one.  all hope was not lost as it was just a dad and his kid, not a hormonal menopausal woman with her screaming daughter looking for toys that we don't have.  the first two things i noticed about the dad and child was the song the child was singing and the look of utter defeat, horror, humiliation, and verge of tears on the father's face as he asked, "do you...um...have any of the....you know...(tears almost come) the...the wiggles?"  at the mere mention of the word wiggles the kid changes his song to a chant of "WIGGLES! WIGGLES! WIGGLES!" at this, the father let a single tear go down his cheek...actually he didn't but he looked like he could have.  i did understand however, that the father had already lost his child to the evil that is the wiggles, and was probably only there buying the child wiggles to save his marriage.  well, being the phenominal customer service representative (or the stores little bitch as i like to call it) i immediatly took him over to where we have our wiggles.  now comes the part where the wiggles are destroying our children.  upon immediate sighting of the wiggles's toys the kid began to ran in a beserk frenzied fashion, as fast as his legs would carry him, as fast as God would permit, and as fast as he could towards the wiggles and (here's the kicker) straight into our Madagascar display sending beany animals flying everywhere.  the world became a little sadder that day.  I also think that if the father could have picked one moment in his life to die it would have been then...right as his child was sprawled across the Toys 'R Us isle, beanies everywhere, wiggle in hand, mid chant...damn wiggles

3.  Last year alone The Wiggles took in over $35,000,000 for acting dumb, flailing their arms around, talking in a stupid voice, singing songs that make you want to kill yourself after listening to them for more than 0.00345 seconds, and panning out stupid life teachings to kids.  but alex isn't this what you do everyday?  yes it is.  however, i don't get paid 35 million to do it, if anything, i have to pay to do it which makes it complete bullshit.  hell, i could make a pimp kids show and make millions.  this would be my kids show:

my main character would be hobo jim who gave his wonderful insight of the world to kids and also hit them up for beer, money, and drugs:

(hobo Jim)

then there would be my two animal mascots composed of sniper kitty, and an oscar the groach rip off called beer kase kitty:

oh, and i'd be there too, with my possy of course (i'm on the left...oh yeah, forgot to tell you i turned black):

so whats the plot prmise you ask?  oh there is none, we just run around being dumb teaching kids words they already know or are to dumb to figure out. 

oh, and the wiggles, here's to you

fuck'n wiggles...

Currently Listening Gravity By Our Lady Peace see related

and then i remember why i love duluth...